A Cynical Faith

"What did you think?" I asked my mom after we finished watching The Last Temptation of Christ.

The Martin Scorcese adaptation of the brilliant Nikos Kazantzakis novel on the tension between the human and the divine has been my favorite movie for over a year now, and over Christmas break Alyssa and I purchased the film. It was shipped to my parents' house, and I was excited to pop it in and watch it with my family. Afterward, Mom and I sat out on their front porch discussing parts of the movie.

She took a long draw on her cigarette before answering, a semi-confused squint on her face.

"I dunno. I guess I just think that there are some things that have to remain holy. If not, what else have you got?"

She was referring to the conflict of tradition with the depiction of Jesus in the film--a very human Jesus, a Jesus neither born of a virgin, nor completely sure of his purpose on earth. There are times in the film where Jesus seems as surprised by his own miracles as those witnessing them.

I've talked with Mom about this before.

Some of my greatest spiritual struggles in the last few years have dealt not with stretching my beliefs to new limits, but actually setting the limits themselves. It didn't take long, after beginning to question certain aspects of my faith, for my initial skepticism to turn into full-blown cynicism. For instance, there is pretty solid scholarly evidence to suggest that Jesus was indeed not born of a virgin--that this was simply a misinterpretation by the gospel writers of an ancient prophecy. And the earliest gospel, Mark, contains no reference either to Jesus's birth nor his resurrection; the gospel literally ends with Jesus being placed in his tomb, his disciples crippled with fear.

Some things are not very essential to believe in order to be a Christian. Six-day creation? Nah. Adam and Eve? Probably not. The tribulation and/or rapture? Heck no. But if I draw reasonable lines against these ideas, where do I hit the limit of my unbelief? And when I get there, is it even okay for me to still call myself a Christian?

I want to believe in miracles, and I want to believe in a resurrected Jesus, and I want to believe that the poor will eventually be made rich, the rich made poor, the valleys raised, the mountains lowered. I want to believe in a year of Jubilee.

It's just been so damn difficult lately.

One of the great (if not a bit insane) minds of the last several thousand years was the philosopher Diogenes, who incidentally happened to be of the Greek philosophic school of Cynicism. Now--not trying to confuse you--the philosophical understanding of Cynicism is a bit different than the usual definition we're used to. I want to instead draw your attention to a story my grandfather once told me about old Diogenes.

A quiet hermit of a man in his old age, Diogenes took to the streets and hills with lantern lit in broad daylight. He would approach individuals and clusters of talkative travelers in silence with his candle, barely visible in the light of midday. "Diogenes, what are you doing?" they would ask. And old Diogenes would peer deeply into their faces, his nose almost touching theirs, and say "I'm looking for an honest man." His gaze would linger for another brief moment, and then he'd turn and slowly walk away, searching for someone else.

Diogenes the Cynic had little faith that he would ever meet a truly honest person.

Granted, he also lived in a large barrel, urinated on strangers, and often roamed the countryside stark naked. But that's beside the point.

The point is that to believe in Christ is to have hope that the honest man is still out there, and to believe that there still are things that are holy, and that--once in a while--it may even be okay to believe something that isn't factual. The point is that while a hermeneutic of suspicion may be healthy and encouraged occasionally, a hermeneutic of cynicism has the tendency to leave one jaded and certain about very little. May we all seek to dispel the darkness of cynicism, and embrace the mystery that is the risen Christ.

Peace,

Joshua

Anavah: The Whole Story

Broadway Books & Roasting Company

Until about six months ago, my dreams for years had been steeped in my inclination to join a new monastic intentional community. I had read the books by fresh, powerful authors that were staples for any young Christian radical: Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution for starters (although--I fully admit--I didn't read the entire book), followed by Jesus for President. Then I began making my way through works by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, most notably his collaborative book, School(s) for Conversion: Twelve Marks of a New Monasticism, eventually arriving at the works of the heavy hitters: Jacques Ellul, Stanley Hauerwas, Wendell Berry. My desire to live in genuine Christian community--no pretense, no secrecy, no clinging to exclusive ownership of things, but simply living out the lives Christ has called us to live--became a driving force in my life, influencing everything from my personal relationships to my grocery shopping.

However, when I started seminary in August, I wasn't ready for the challenge that was quickly placed before me. After my first class (which, coincidentally, was held in a real Benedictine monastery), I came to realize that God was not only calling me to live in an intentional community, but God was also calling me to help form and lead a community. It was then that the idea behind Anavah House was born.

Anavah, by definition, means humility. However, as is often the case with Hebrew words, anavah is packed with much more meaning that it initially lets on. According to Strong's concordance, the word appears numerous times in the Bible, typically with the connotation of gentleness or humility. However, there is also an instance in which it is translated as help.

According to Jewish tradition, anavah is the kind of humility that allows one to recognize their place in God's grand design of all Creation. It is commonly associated with one's ability to replace their pride with an openness to learn a little something from everyone--a person who practices anavah practices the art of humbling themselves into the realization that all people of all traditions, cultures, and social statuses have something to teach.

That's my dream for Anavah House--a place where people from all walks of life can feel welcome, and have their spirits affirmed as children of the Living God. A place where people can be helped, as well as help others together in mutual respect.

Bruce Gentry?

The original plan was for Alyssa and I to stay in Cape Girardeau through May while we searched for a run-down fixer-upper in some rough part of Kansas City. In the meantime, however, we kept getting these little hints. When I first mentioned the idea to our mentor, Bruce, he said, "Why don't you do something like that in Cape Girardeau?"

I immediately laughed this off. Not trying to sound prideful, but there are very few Christians in southeast Missouri who think the way Alyssa and I do. We just sort of assumed that we would have to seek out a more diverse, urban area in order to develop an idea like Anavah House.

But then, less than a week later, we were approached by a good friend of ours who owns a coffee house in the historic downtown district of Cape. Without divulging too much, and to make a long story short, suffice it to say that she was interested in selling us the business, and eventually the land on which the business sits.

But we weren't interested. It conflicted with our plans to move to Kansas City. It wasn't until we laughed it off for the third or fourth (fifth? sixth?) time that we began to take this seriously.

Now, after months of intense thought, prayer, and discussion, we feel that we are ready to begin sharing our experience. With the right effort, the right people, the right energies, and just a touch of passion, I believe that we can cultivate something beautiful in an often neglected part of the city I have lived in for the last five years.

Note: This is not one of my lattes.
My lattes don't look nearly this delicious.

We agreed to move into this new space--we currently live in a sort of attic apartment on the third floor of the building (you can see our living room windows in the photo above). We will be training to work in the coffee shop (on the main floor) for the next three months, before we eventually become managers. If all goes according to plan, we will be ready to purchase the business in payments starting in June. I've been making lattes and double-shot espressos like crazy.

But we need help getting to where we need to be. Right now, Alyssa and I are the only two people behind Anavah House. And I don't like that. As my friend Tyler and I discussed the other day over lunch, Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said (paraphrasing) that when a community is not a living vision of a group of people and becomes instead the dream of just one or two people, that community ceases to be authentic and efficacious. We need more people who share our passion for community development and art, spirituality and coffee, the power of spiritual discipline and the value of integrity.

We also need about $30,000 by June in order to buy the business.

The property lies on Broadway, about a half-mile from the Mississippi River, and also just a few short blocks from South Cape, the southeast Missouri equivalent of a ghetto. Ideally, the business would stay exactly as is, with the upper two floors being reserved for new monastic living. The house is big enough to serve as a residence for at least six or eight people (including Alyssa and myself).

I'm not a fundraiser. I'm not a financier. I'm not a preacher, or even really a teacher. I'm just someone who has a passion for people. Alyssa and I are having a hard time getting people to join us in this great commitment, and that's understandable. Sure, lots of people have let us know what a great idea they think it is. But we are looking for a few good women and men to actually help us make Anavah House a reality. If you--or anyone you know--are interested in living in community for a time (it doesn't have to be permanent, by any means), please let me know. You can email us at anavahhouse@gmail.com. If you're interested in further info, we can put you on our mailing list--simply leave your address in the message body, and we'll keep you updated as things progress.

We have a million ideas--way too many to post here in one sitting. Everything from handmade coffee bag crafts to afterschool ceramics workshops for kids to lobbying for a large community garden to be installed in the downtown area. If you'd like to talk more about it, I urge you to contact us. And if you don't feel like you can commit your life to something of that magnitude, you may even opt to simply chip in a few bucks to the fund. We're about to open a bank account for Anavah House, and we will soon be establishing ourselves as a nonprofit organization, pending support from a board of directors of the Anavah Foundation. If you're interested in helping in any way, shape, or form, please email the address above, or call me directly at 573-576-0840, or Alyssa at 573-576-1424.

We can do this. We can make this a reality, and together we can nurture something that has never been seen before in southeast Missouri.

Your humble everyday revolutionary,

Joshua

Veggie Recipe: Roasted Garlic Potato & Leek Patties with Feta

Hi there again!

Alyssa and I have tried going vegetarian before, but we hope that this time we are both committed enough to make it fairly permanent. I recently read Jonathan Safran Foer's excellent book, Eating Animals, and was deeply convicted by his account of the evils of the meat industry.

Growing up, a very close friend of my family's was (and still is) vegan. When she would visit, our family would go vegan for the duration of her stay, and it was through her that I learned to appreciate both the animal rights activists' point-of-view, as well as the excellent vegan cuisine which (in southeast Missouri) often went unnoticed or was consciously avoided. People often fear what they do not know. Too bad, too, because I've found a whole new world of amazing food thanks to my friend.

For Christmas, Alyssa and I got a few vegetarian cookbooks, and we're working our way through some of the recipes. Here for your tasting pleasure is a nice little dish that we made the other day. We've tweaked the recipe a little bit, so if you try it, don't get freaked out if it doesn't turn out like the pictures (plus, the food in the pictures hasn't been cooked yet).

Roasted Garlic Potato & Leek Patties with Feta


Ingredients:
-1 whole garlic bulb
-2 Russet potatoes, cut into small chunks
-1 Leek, trimmed and finely chopped
-1 package crumbled feta cheese
-1-2 tsp. hot sauce
-sea salt & pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Separate the cloves of garlic into a small roasting pan and roast for about 20 minutes or until soft.

Scoop garlic into a bowl and mash thoroughly.

Cook the potatoes in a large pan of boiling water for 15 minutes, or until soft.

Drain and mash, then mix in the roasted garlic.

Add the leek, feta cheese, hot sauce, and salt and pepper to taste, and combine well.

Cover and let chill in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes.

Shape the potato mixture into 8 small round patties and place on a nonstick baking sheet--we used our fancy-schmancy Pampered Chef baking stones.

Bake for about 20 minutes. Alyssa and I found that the baked patties didn't quite set up right, so we suggest maybe lightly frying them, like you would any sort of potato latke or grit fritter. They taste really great with ketchup and some extra hot sauce.

Bon appetit!

Joshua

A Virtual Walkthrough of Our Apartment

Alyssa and I have been gradually arranging our space at the new house/apartment. Here are some pics of the living area/kitchen, as well as the foyer.

 Kitteh napz!

This is our little floating island which separates our living room from the kitchen. Complete with mini veggie pizzas! 

Here's part of our foyer. On the left: a spiritual art piece by our friend Jon Daniels. On the right: our newly installed coat hanger. Also, St. Francis is in charge of our comings and goings from his perch above the light switch!

My grandmother made the doily that's hanging above our door. It was a wedding gift.

Two bookcases, and we STILL don't have enough room for all of our books.

That's all for now. I'll post some more pics of the new place as we get settled in and unpacked. Tomorrow: a new vegetarian recipe!

Peace,

Joshua

Christmas and yada yada yada...

I'm back! It's been a long couple weeks for Alyssa and me, but we survived the holiday season, and we're finally settling back down into our routine. Let me bring you up to speed in a really brief, poorly written summary of my life for the last half-a-month...

About three weeks ago, we started moving out of our home at the BSC and into our new residence at Broadway Books & Roasting Company. That's right, we moved into a coffee house. You never realize how much crap you own until you have to truck it all, bit by bit, a few blocks down the street and up three flights of stairs.

But we're excited for our new home, and we're beginning to make future plans for Anavah House to remain in Cape Girardeau.

We visited Alyssa's family in Wentzville over the Christmas holiday, returned to Cape for a night, and then spent a week with my family in Williamsville. My old friend Randy also came along.

I got a ton of books for Christmas, from both families. I'm especially excited about the graphic novel version of "Howl," by Allen Ginsberg, Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline (I want to use it as a study for the residents of Anavah House when we first get off the ground), John Howard Yoder's The Politics of Jesus (my first Yoder book! I'm so excited!), and Jesus and the Disinherited, by Howard Thurman. It has been said that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., carried a copy of this last book on him at all times.

My brother-in-law and his wife also got me a quirky personal finance book that teaches better fiscal responsibility over six weeks. I thought it could come in handy with Anavah House--I think everyone that knows me can attest to the fact that I'm lousy with numbers. I am, after all, a creative writing major and seminary student.

I was sick for the majority of the break, but have been getting better since going to the doctor last week.

While in Williamville, we also picked up another cat (the brother of So-So, the cat we got over Thanksgiving break), which we named Yare (Yah-ree). He's named after the Hebrew word for "fearful," or "afraid." He hides all the time!

Now that we're back in Cape, we're going through training with BBRC in order to become baristas (and, eventually, managers). This morning, we learned how to "pull a shot," i.e. make a shot of espresso. That was cool. I'm looking forward to learning everything I can about this place while I'm here.

In the meantime, Alyssa and I have been tidying the nest, finding a place for everything. We've also gone vegetarian, so we'll hopefully be posting some delicious recipes we've been trying lately.

Over the next few days, I'll be revisiting each of these new developments and posting about them a little more in-depth, so check back here each night for more information!

Peace,

Joshua

"Mea Culpa!" or, Art Project, Part II

Okay, so I've sort of abandoned the Jesse tree. Sad day!

As it turns out, painting an ornament a day and writing a devotion for each of those days of Advent leading up to Christmas has proven just a bit too much for me this year, on top of two degree programs packed with final projects in the middle of the Advent season. However, fret not! Many of the ornaments are finished, and--with only one degree program next year--I should have enough to post every day in Advent. As a matter of fact, I may just write them in July and set them to post in December, just to get a jump on the game.

And speaking of final projects, my art piece came out of the gas kiln today. I wrapped it up with some gold acrylic paint in the eyes, and then epoxied a small piece back on that had fallen off. Then we photographed it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my first ceramics art piece (go easy on me), Put Your Hands Into the Earth. If you're curious about the title, it comes from a Wendell Berry poem.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Peace,

Joshua

Jesse Tree, Days 4, 5, and 6: Catching Up

Okay, so I haven't been so good at keeping you up-to-date on devotions. I'm currently in Kansas City for the weekend, and I've been pretty busy with seminary.

Let me catch you up on the Jesse Tree. I won't post full devotions; just a quick word and a scripture link.

Day 4: Noah's Ark

Theme: The Flood/The sin of violence
Scripture: Genesis 6:11-22, 7:17-8:12, and 20:9-17.

Day 5: The Covenant with Abraham

Theme: "Look toward the heavens and count the stars...So shall your descendants be."
Scripture: Genesis 12:1-7 and 15:1-6.

Day 6: The Offering of Isaac

Theme: Sacrifice/Provision
Scripture: Genesis 22:1-19.

***

Prayer of the Day

from Common Prayer, by Shane Claiborne, Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, and Enuma Okoro

Lord, keep us from trying to distinguish between the deserving and the undeserving poor. Help us work to alleviate suffering and injustice wherever we find it, trusting that the rest is up to you. Amen.

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you wherever he may send you; May he guide you through the wilderness, protect you through the storm; May he bring you home rejoicing at the wonders he has shown you; May he bring you home rejoicing once again into our doors. Amen